Sunrise was recorded at 7:04 a.m. on Tuesday, 29 September 2015.
The first day without my beloved daughter had officially begun.
The earth continued to rotate, and humans around the world went about their everyday lives. It was the first day of a new "normal" for my older daughter, my son and myself.
Beloved daughter and sister had been declared officially dead at 1:38 a.m. that very morning. Heaven had called for their beautiful angel to be returned, and she was taken from us without warning.
There is absolutely nothing which exists in written or spoken words which can prepare a parent for how to survive the death of a child. The grief cycle is relentless, limitless and without end.
The pain waits for us to awake each and every day, and it wraps cocoon-like as we strive to go about our daily routine.
My friends with children tried to give me support and would offer through their tears, "I cannot possibly understand what you are going through." I would soothe them with a heartfelt response of "I am glad that you do not understand what I am going through as I would not want this pain for you."
Other well-known acquaintances would avoid me and feel awkward in my presence as they had no idea what might be "appropriate" words of solace for them to offer.
Being outside and surrounded by nature would help to alleviate my suffering, and I would hold conversations with my beloved daughter as I walked along with one of my very special golden retrievers. My male golden retriever placed himself in the position of becoming a four-legged "sponge" to absorb my pain and grief. He would appear at my side before the first tears could fall from my eyes.
It was during one of these walks outside when the inspiration for Always Remember A Beloved entered my mind. It would remain there for two (2) more years before I summoned the courage to realize the dream.
A very special friend and honored war hero mentored me through the process of setting up a business plan. He was also called to heaven this past March, and I miss him very much.
I am honored if you choose to share the story of your beloved child with me and with others who can and do understand your pain.
"I would give anything I own
I'd give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own,
Just to have you back again."
- Gates, David. "Everything I Own." Baby I'm-a Want You album, Bread, Elektra/Rhino, 1972, Track #4.